Far from Home

It's been cloudy since last week.  We thought it was going to have a snowfall last week, but it was just a hale. The sun is hiding and the weather is quite depressing. It could be that I'm still not used to it. I miss the sun, warmth, and people.

I moved miles away, however, I missed home. I miss everything that reminds me of home.

I was walking home. It was a perfect view: a sunset, a cinematic view of trees, and a mountain at a distance. The cold fills the air as the snow is coming.  Here are some of the pictures I took: 

Then, my dream last night struck me. I was in our home washing the dishes as if I had always been there. In that dream, I was confused as to why was I still at home. I was wondering if I was just dreaming that I moved away? 

Confused as I may be, however, I felt a relief. Relief that I am in my comfort space, somewhere I belong. Sometimes it's hard to move to a place where you do not know anyone. It is challenging because forming a bond with someone takes time, energy, and a lot of similarities. Sometimes, you just don't know how to find your tribe. Like you are trapped in a forest without a map. I am trying to accept the fact that I will not be physically part of the achievements of my loved ones and friends. Seeing them on social media makes me think that the path we have taken is two very different and separate roads.

Nonetheless, I am going to take this path that I have chosen. I knew for a fact that my soul would always long for this experience of being far from home. I knew that I was always meant to partake in a journey that entails uprooting my identity and finding myself in another place. This is a journey of knowing who I am without the comfort of home and of how people identify me. This is a challenging but empowering journey. 

I hope one day, everything will make sense.

Photos taken using Nikon D7000

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Reacting with Your Emotions

Hello! It is been a while. There were lots of things that happened to me lately. I could say that I am learning and growing each day. I am on my second meditation challenge which I am so thankful for. It helped me how to stay focus and grounded for the rest of the day. In addition, I am also reading "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki. Amazingly the meditation and the book taught me almost the same thing: Not to react with your emotion, learn how to just observe them. 

I realized that a huge percentage of our decision making is mostly based on our emotions. We may unknowingly do it but if you become more observant you will really be amazed. As I contemplated, we often make bad decisions when we are not emotionally stable. But reacting to our emotions is our first response right? 

People stay on the same job, even though their inner being says otherwise because of fear. Emotions change abruptly. It is wise to learn how to observe it as it goes to you. Learn how to think first before reacting. Let it pass. And contemplate on: "What am I missing?" In that way, you can create wiser decisions.

I am sharing this because I think I have to. What are your thoughts?

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The Sunday Currently | 08

I love vintage and I love surplus stores. I mean old items have different stories to tell about the artist or even the owner beforehand which makes it interesting and unique. I love to look at the personal touches at the books or even old cameras in the surplus stores. It makes me wonder how the owner used it or the moments it had withstood. Too bad people have to let go of them, that's why they are in the surplus stores right? 

I always appreciate art, especially painted works. I appreciated it more when I tried to learn some basic watercolor. It was not easy for me since there are strokes that seems to be not achievable. That is the reason why, I love to look at intricate designs or even brush strokes. It seems like it takes some amount of time to achieve that look. How can a simple brush create such beautiful art?

Going back last Sunday, I visited Japanese Surplus shops here in our city. It’s an unusual Sunday because I actually hop from one shop to another. The thing is there’s a new shop located at Mintal and has filled my heart with amazement. I found art paints, dolls that looked really great, carved wooden blocks and other things. The moment I went inside, it seems like I was inside a time travel capsule. There's something with old things that makes me curious. I took some photos and here are some of them:

It is such a lovely painting. I can't help myself but to look at it for minutes. It seems like I want to go inside and feel the breeze near the shore. The painting is calm, at the same time, dramatic.

These two dolls left an impression among the other dolls. They looked like a real human and has a porcelain-like skin. The outfit is detailed and has different layers. These two looked really interesting.

This is one of the carved items that I could have bought. Just by looking at the details, one can say that it is such a precious art.

 Sun

I was in awe when I was at the surplus store. I couldn't believe of the things I found inside for a surprisingly small amount. I hope these gems will soon find a new home, and be appreciated by the new owner.

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To the Struggling Soul

Have you ever been at the point of your life when you don’t know what you are doing? It could be an identity crisis or just don’t know which path you want to take? We were all there at a time in our lives. I understand the struggle because it’s my struggle for quite a long time. There is a time when my life seemed to be so idle. I did not know which path to take so I stopped taking actions. I tried to contemplate with what I am doing in my life that I’ve forgotten to a new move. I have been so at ease in my comfort zone that I stayed there for a long time, longer than what I planned. It is frustrating when you badly want to take the insights from people but you feel bad for yourself because you can’t just change yourself. I feel for myself because I am still at the right spot where I was a month ago. It’s frustrating and I could just give up.

But then, I met a life toastmaster/life coach, whose name is Philip, said something on one of his talks which really inspired me. “Just show up and the opportunity will follow”. It is something that struck me. If I didn’t show up at that meeting, maybe I could not have met him. I am so glad to meet a life coach from my city. I also met one of the amazing speakers from the group named Maico, who inspired us on this talk about “making the impossible, possible”. With the right attitude, prayers, and faith, you can be and can do anything you want. I have to remind myself of those things always since I tend to be swept away with my negativity. I confess that it is toxic but I want to change for the better.

You see, challenging changing ourselves to be a better individual is one of the things you can consider when you are lost and nowhere to go. Do something that can help you and that can help others. Passionate individuals are not selfish and they are for the wellbeing of others too. Hang on there, struggling soul. Just do something that you love. Do something that will make you closer to your goal. Just do anything.

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The Gratitude Project | Day 1 & Day 2

Day One:

I wrote a love letter for myself. Actually, it feels weird because there were only a few times (that I can remember) when I just talked to myself with positive words. I mean I have a set of nice traits but they were trapped with my self-doubt. I felt sorry for myself because I have neglected "her". Whatever you tell yourself, yourself actually hears it. It applies and manifests to your thoughts. I reminded myself of my talents and what I'm capable of. I have to remember who I am in order to proceed. I think I've forgotten my positive traits ever since I started  to entertain negativity.

It feels unusual to tell yourself positive things, but very satisfying.

Day Two:

I meditated. This one is not easy. Every time I calm down my mind, it makes a way to divert my attention to other things. Is this is the reason why I can't hear inner myself? Could be. To be honest, I struggled on this. After the meditation and letting go of what's bothering me, I can feel how my head seemed to be lighter. The feeling is awesome and I want to continue the meditation for the succeeding days. 

Wish me luck to finish this up to day 30.

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My 30 Day Gratitude Project

Heya! How have you been? It's been quite a long time. I think I was consumed with the world and not motivated enough to keep this going. I was really stagnant for a while and unproductive. I sort of just let destiny do the job. But seems like, destiny isn't making any action yet. I'm just your typical  kind-of-person who is trying to find a job (or something meaningful) to make a difference in this world. Nah, I'm kidding I just need money and travel the world. But really, I don't know what I should be doing at this stage of my life. Lately the more I'm not doing something to be productive, the more I doubt myself. I have this tendency to embrace negativity and stay there for a while. Toxic, I know. I just want to thank someone who pointed that to me. When you are with yourself for quite some time, it is hard to notice little things.

I want to thank everyone who keep on believing in me until to this very day. I decided to change myself for the better. You know, small changes can have big impact to you and someone else's life. If you have noticed on my past blog posts, I have this "romanticizing the negative things" trait and I want that out of my system. I want to change for myself and for other people. I don't know why but I kind of want to document here my Gratitude Project. I was inspired by Ange Simson of www.the-gratitude-project.com. Go and visit her site, she's one of the best! She launched this "30 Days of Self Love" in which you have small tasks for 30 days to be a better, more positive version of yourself.

I will document my 30 day challenge here. We'll never know, I might inspire someone out there who's on the same shoes.

All the best! I wonder how, do you readers, cope up with the same problem?

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Wednesday Blues

Sunset

Today, I woke up early and greeted the sky before the sun displayed its magnificence. I was almost late for the seminar yesterday that I have to force myself to take the taxi for me to get there on time. So today, I woke up extra early and was actually the earliest to arrive there. It was 6:20 a.m. and I was already anxiously waiting for the commute. I mean it’s still early but most of the jeepneys are full. I couldn’t help but laugh with sarcasm. Everyone is too busy. Everyone keeps a pace to themselves. Isn’t overwhelming? Stress doesn’t end when you graduate from school. It doesn’t end unless you end it. I can’t see myself doing the same thing, just like what most of people are doing. And I know that I will be lying to myself if I’d give it another chance. 

I almost lost myself in this work-driven society. I almost let myself drown away with the wrong perception and biased thinking. I’m craving for something more. I crave for creativity, for freedom, for expression, for social service and for empowerment. I crave for the things I cannot find in my present situation. I kept on digging but it sometimes it gets so hard when you don’t give up one thing for something. I can’t be in two places at one time, and I have to choose. There are paths that may lead us to somewhere and will cost us something, but it will be worth it. 

I’ll be taking the first steps.
One step at a time.
And I will be there.



My mind is shouting with words I cannot search. I'm too lost at the moment that I let myself be guided with the breeze that has no direction. I let myself let go of every restraint, every negative thought but they keep on coming back. Haunting me all over again. But I have to start again, get up and play on.

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